A tribute to Aunt Elaine

Jen's Aunt Elaine, the youngest child of Michael & Lavern Kenny, the only sister of John and Peter Kenny and mother of Erica & Andrea Simmons, passed away 3 weeks ago on June 7. I haven't posted anything for I could not find the words to capture the sorrow of her loss or the joyous celebration of her life. As such, I felt the best thing was to let others do the talking...

Aunt Elaine's Obituary [Link]

Ange's Eulogy for Aunt Elaine:
Elaine was born in 1953 as the third and youngest child of my grandparents Michael Peter and LaVerne Kenny. Born four years after two boys spaced barely a year apart, she was their little princess. She grew up in the sunset district of San Francisco and attended St. Anne's grammar school. After graduating in 1966 she attended Presentation High School for one year, after which she moved with her parents to Belmont where she attended and graduated from Notre Dame High School in 1971. She then went on to attend the College of San Mateo, and afterwards landed a job with San Mateo County. Many years later, while a single mother of two, she returned to college at Notre Dame De Namur University and spent her evenings after a full work day studying to win her bachelors degree in sociology.

She was the type of person who always put herself last. She juggled a career and the pursuit of higher education while being a devoted daughter, sister, cousin, and of course single mom. Her family was her life. She would often drop everything to accompany my grandparents to the store or to regular medical appointments. She was constantly checking Pops' hearing aids because, ever the handyman, he was constantly taking them apart. Her work as a conservator for San Mateo County Aging and Adult Services also centered around service to her community. Many people knew her as the nice lady who came by every few weeks to make sure they were doing okay. If they needed things repaired or a ride to a doctor's office, she took care of them. Moreover, she always went the extra mile. One of her clients liked movies but only had a VCR, so she would always poke around thrift stores specifically looking for videotapes for this one lady. A colleague who visited her during her illness commented on how much her diligence was missed, saying, "oh, when are you coming back, Elaine? nothing gets done around here anymore! get Elaine back!” When someone needed a fridge, she didn't wait for the bureaucracy to take care of it, she just went to Sears and got that old guy a fridge. She was, indeed, a woman of action. she wasn't the kind of person who would talk about all the stuff she did, she would just do it. We didn't even realize all the things she was doing until she got sick and couldn't do them anymore.

My dad, John, fondly remembers that at their childhood dinner table, he would always sit next to her so she could pass her unwanted grisly pieces of meat to his plate. She could find gristle in even the finest cut of meat! Uncle Peter remembers that Elaine had a pet bird whom she loved dearly. The only thing was she was afraid to stick her finger in the bird’s cage. Like any older brother loves to do, Peter would try and scare her by letting the bird out so it could fly all around the room and chase her.

When she was younger, she used to save things like cereal box tops and send them in for free gifts. One time, she got a giant inflatable banana from the Chiquita banana corporation. John, the prankster, opened the box without her knowing and placed the inflated banana under the covers in her bed before heading off to work. When Elaine got home from Notre Dame High and opened her bedroom door, all she could see was the silhouette of what looked like a body curled up in her bed. Frightened, she called her uncle Kenny Tomlinson who quickly came over to investigate and was so concerned that he called the Belmont Police Department. They approached the bed with guns drawn, but when they lifted the covers, all they found was the inflatable Chiquita banana.

Elaine loved to sew. During her youth, she made almost all her own clothing as well as dresses for her mother. When she was older and taking care of her young children, she had less free time but she still lovingly stitched crazy Halloween costumes - like when Erica decided she wanted to be a rainbow and Andrea wanted to be Xena warrior princess- and then she took time off work to proudly snap photographs of the schoolyard parade. She made clothes for their dolls. When she found out she was going to lose her hair, she went shopping for hat patterns.

She loved apple pie and mashed potatoes and shrimp. I think she also loved the Bee Gees and Fleetwood Mac. My dad tried to cheer her up by giving her tons of 70s CDs.Then again, she was once overheard saying "I'll listen to any CD as long as John's handwriting isn't on it." She was a great gardener; she loved flowers and fruits especially, and she inherited her mothers green thumb. Se used every single apple she picked off her abundant tree to make pies, applesauce, all kinds of things. She also has a fig tee but since she didn't like the figs, she happily handed them over to her parents and to her niece Jennifer.

Last year, the girls and her took a trip to Disneyland, somewhat spur of the moment. As a cautious woman, that was not normally her style, but she knew the coming months would be difficult and she really wanted to just go and do something fun. She always enjoyed getting souvenir shirts, so after a lot of browsing she picked out a gray and pink Minnie Mouse sweatshirt to help her remember the trip.

Her carrot cake recipe is unparalleled. Actually, all her desserts were spectacular. She was a light eater, but she loved food and she loved to cook. She enjoyed watching the food network for new ideas. She always purchased the most spot on birthday cards and the most thoughtful gifts. She loved her family. If there was something they wanted, she always found a way to obtain it. She was as patient as she was loving, enduring many a Bingo game or trip to the dented canned store on a Saturday afternoon. She loved to read and participated in a book club. She valued education and wanted to make sure that her daughters received the best there was. She finished her own degree the hard way, as an adult, working full time with two children. She truly was a remarkable woman. She was a woman who took all of life's lemons and made the sweetest lemonade you can find.

She was not a loud or opinionated person. In the face of conflict, she often watched her words in order to keep the peace. I used to think her gentle demeanor lended to her being a pushover, but I learned that is not true. Au contraire, it made her into something few Kennys are: a good listener. She was available to her friends and family, most importantly to her two beautiful daughters, Erica and Andrea. She was first and foremost a mother, a protector, with a kind face and an open heart. She did not judge people. Even when she was sick, her primary concerns were for the well being of her daughters and her parents. It's hard to imagine being so selfless, but that is who she was, through and through. Aunt Elaine had all these funny thoughts and comments that were never heard either because of the volume of the room, or she held them back, but when she got sick, she found her voice and made sure she was heard.....and she was witty and funny.....and willing to tell those Kenny boys they were full of it.

When she was diagnosed with uterine cancer last year, it came as an unthinkable blow. How could something so horrible happen to such a wonderful person? I believe it is human nature to look for that silver lining, even in the most grim situations. Despite how much I wish things could have been different, I am truly thankful that we had the time to tell her we loved her, what's more, to show her. It is a testament to how many lives she touched that so many of you dropped off food or sent flowers or funny little cards to keep her spirits up. There are so many small things a person can do to show their love and I guarantee that she appreciated each and every gesture.

When I think of all the years she spent taking care of everyone- her children, her parents, and through her job, many people throughout San Mateo County- I think of all the lives she has touched and all the ways in which she will live on forever. Somewhere in heaven, she's sitting in a rocking chair with a Sydney Sheldon novel and box of Godiva truffles.